The Many Vices of Erenth

To His Majesty, King Mynus of Saklan, Lord of Mountains, Scholar, Wizard, and Moral Paragon to the World

From Heyward of Laketon, traveler, polyglot and linguist of some cunning.

I have written this letter in the hopes of earning the reward you pledged to any who might help you discover the vices which so commonly inspire the actions of men and demi-men the world over. By God, I know of no more vicious tendency than that which is to utter curses and imprecations while angry or under duress -- unless it be to make oaths undertaken lightly or else for mundane matters. So, for your scornful consideration, I have set out those profane utterances that I have heard in pubs and taverns the world over, below:

In Westrun, a man might be heard to say, "Drat" or to call his fellow a "Dolt," or "Clod." If he is particularly malicious towards that same fellow he may refer to him as a "Canker Blossom." To describe a wife or children, or even handiwork as "Poxy" is to say they, or it, are diseased or else unfit. A "Gong Juggler" is one who lies or meddles in things he shouldn't, or is otherwise incompetent. A "Gong Peddler" is a liar and a "Gong Smith" is someone who has taken lying to the level of an artform. The "King's Chair," is a euphemism for something desirable.

Now, the peasants of Westrun are especially gifted at using profanity in rich and varied ways. There is almost no limit to the set of utterances, imprecations and curses that come from the vernacular form of the name of the pagan god, Inoss, such as, "Noss You," or "That is a Nossing fine horse," or "The wagon wheel is Nossed," or "I couldn't Nossing believe my ears." Some of the more skilled users of this word have been known to include it several times in a sentence, switching back and forth between pejorative, expletive, and ecstatic descriptions.

Finally, a man who intends to invoke great trust will say, "God as my witness," or "I swear by God." These utterances are frowned upon in the Canons themselves, though it hardly needs to be pointed out to one such as your Lordship.

In Northrun the worst insult is to refer to a man as a "Skittish Mare" or just a "Mare" or to a lesser degree any other she-animal. To refer to a woman as a "Cold Night's Sleep" is to denigrate her appearance or her ability. The phrase, "Oh the Witch's Womb," or simply "Witches Womb" as a stand alone expression is quite profane and a provocation of the numinous. "By Armsgleme's Axe," or "By the Stones of my Hearth," is a way of making promises one intends to be considered sacred.

In Southrun the imprecations are long and laborious, and the longer and more laborious the better. That said, there are few so-called standard insults. For a people who are prone to exaggeration and hyperbole, the more creative an insult is, the more seriously it is taken. When a man means to compliment or sincerely inquire after another, the man's father is invoked. But, to question a man or insult him, an innocent appeal to his mother will always have a pejorative effect. To inquire after her seemingly politely, by Westrun standards, is bad enough. Letting her be the object of a stream of curses, is the worst it gets. "May the lice of a goat herd find succor upon your mother's hairy bosom," is one such comment I heard in the port city of Sabaha the resulting bloodbath claimed 23 lives and countless maimed before the violence was sated.

In Eastrun the two worst insults levied are, "My horse or your wife," which is generally an unfavorable invitation to intimacy; and "The kala crack your skull," which is often just denoted by knocking ones fist against the forehead in the direction of the persons intended. A profane reference, but one that is generally favorable to the object is to call it the "marrgons horn." That is a euphemistic reference and not to either of the horns of the beast at all. On the other hand, a "margon's egg" is a euphemism for the beasts excrement and is sometimes just referred to as "egg." Expressions with that reference say, "Eggs in your dinner," or "Eggs for your pillow," or "Eggs in your ears."

The Elves are not known for their swift recourse to anger, nor for any particular profanity. Nonetheless, no culture seems immune, for when properly provoked, they will sometimes mutter, Lolths Lips or Lolths Limy Lips. When they are amazed or in awe, or else mean to give some surety of their word, they may be heard to exlaim, "By the ancestral tree."

The Gnomes are a curious lot who are given to craftsmanship and to tools of many sorts. Their favorite imprecations seem to be a slandering of those things. By saying, "Rusty Tools" or "Crook'd Cogs" it is the same as our Drat. When they mean to express awe or suprise they will invoke "Ymur's Hoary Beard" or "Gelf's Gritty Girdle."

Of all peoples I have studied, the Dwarves are a very colorful sort who are often given to exclamations and curses. When I had trouble remembering all those that I had heard and so consulted a Dwarf locally, he made several new ones to repay me for the inconveinance of my request. "Gypsum and Sandstone" is a way of ridiculing something or someone's reliability. While "Ice on the Forge" is a way of cursing something's lack of usefulness or general potency. "Tharm's Stoney Balls" is a sacriligious expression of the highest order which invokes the most ancient of Dwarven ancestors. A much tamer expression is "Clangeddin's Silver Beard" or "Clangeddin's Shiny Pate," which while also referencing an ancestor, has no sacriligious feeling. When a Dwarf means to invoke his highest level of sincerity he will swear saying, "May Mya and the Valkauna bear witness," or just "Valkauna bear witness."

The Halflings are fond of using "Clumbering" to refer to the people they refer to as Big Folk, and by extension, any actions that they find poorly thought out or foolishly executed. Their expression of dismay is an agricultural, "Pickers and thorns." Their expression of surprise is often some version of, "Well if that doesn't dampen my weed," and its correlary, "How does that light your pipe?"

Finally, men who have fought in the campaigns in the Goblin Kingdoms often return using phrases that are translated, "Seed Juggle" and "Drum Beat" in untold combinations. The latter of these is generally favorable while the former is unfavorable. "Seed juggling," or "Seed juggler," or "Juggle on," are the most common forms. For the more positive references, you'll hear, "Drum beating," or "drum beater," or "Beat the drum".

As I wrote, these things have been written with respect to the reward you offered. I can be reached in Laketon for swift resolution of financial matters outstanding. The yellow gaming house on the South Quay has rooms for let and I will spend as much time there as possible to await your letter.

On the Vices of Many Races

To His Royal Majesty, King Mynus of Sakland, Magister and Scholar, Seeker of Knowledge

From Tindol of Laketon, sage and guilded member of the Bards and Bandsmen House #7

My lord, you have requested information on the social ills which plague the many peoples of Erenth. As I am well-traveled and practiced in many forms of entertainment, I thought to give you what I knew of the ways that men will wile away their time in various games of skill and chance.


Westrun

As you know, the people of Westrun are fond of two games: Checks and Draughts. Both are two player games using tokens of two colors. The tokens are flat and round and usually colored white and black.

The game board is a subdivided square of alternating smaller dark and light colored smaller squares number 64. 

Each player starts with 12 pieces of their own color. The row closest to each player is called the "King Row". The black moves first.

In Checks, a player places all of his pieces alternating with his opponent. A player cannot move a piece once it is played, and it must be played on the whtie player's King's Row, if possible. If that column is occupied than the piece is played in the first vacancy closest to King's Row. When a column is filled, no more playing is possible there.  

The Game is over when either player has arranged his pieces so that there are four in a row, either diagnolly, vertically or horizontally. If nobody has four in a row, the game is a draw.

In Draughts, a player places all 12 of his pieces on the dark colored squares closest to the his King's Row. Thereafter, a player can move in two ways. A piece can be moved forward, diagonally, to the very next dark square. A piece can also jump over an opponents piece to remove it from the board, provided there is clear space on the other side of the opponents piece to land. A player can also use one piece to make multiple jumps in any one single turn, provided each jump continues to lead immediately into the next jump and in a straight line.   

If a player's piece moves into the King Row on the other player's side, it becomes a king. It can move forward and backward. A king cannot jump out of the King Row until the next turn. Unlike Regular pieces, Kings can "jump" various empty boxes at a time to capture a regular piece. These "King Jumps" may only occur in diagnoally alligned boxes. Neither Kings nor regular pieces may move in any direction that is not diagonal. 
The first player who cannot move loses. So if a player loses all of his pieces, he loses the game. And if he cannot move, he loses (even if he has pieces). A player may also resign (choose to lose). If nobody can lose, the game is a draw.

Northrun

The Men of the North have a game called Mill. This uses draughts as our games of Westrun, but the rules are a bit more complicated. The board consists of a grid with twenty-four interesections or points. Each player only has nine pieces. Players try to form 'mills'— three of their own men lined horizontally or vertically—allowing a player to remove an opponent's man from the game.

The game begins with an empty board. The players determine who plays first, then take turns placing their men one per play on empty points. If a player is able to place three of his pieces in a straight line, vertically or horizontally, he has formed a mill and may remove one of his opponent's pieces from the board and the game. Any piece can be chosen for the removal, but a piece not in an opponent's mill must be selected, if possible. Once all pieces have been placed, the second part begins.

In the second part, players continue to alternate moves, this time moving a man to an adjacent point. A piece may not "jump" another piece. Players continue to try and form mills, and remove their opponent's pieces in the same manner as in phase one. A player may "break" a mill by moving one of his pieces out of an existing mill, then moving the piece back to form the same mill a second time, or any number of times; and each time removing one of his opponent's men. The act of removing an opponent's man is sometimes called "pounding" the opponent. When one player has been reduced to three men, the third part begins.

In the third part, there is no longer a limitation of moving to only adjacent points: The player's men may jump from any point to any vacant point on the board. A player wins by reducing the opponent to two pieces, or by leaving him without a legal move. 

Eastrun

The Eastrun version of draughts, is called Tiles and begins with the same board and pieces though many more are used.

The first two moves by each player are in the 4 central squares of the board. The players place their pieces alternately. The dark player makes the first move.  

Upon his third move, dark must then place a piece such that there exists at least one straight (horizontal, vertical, or diagonal) occupied line between the new piece and another dark piece, with one or more contiguous light pieces between them. After placing the piece, dark captures and replaces all light pieces lying on a straight line between the new piece and any anchoring dark pieces.

Now light plays. This player operates under the same rules, with the roles reversed: light lays down a light piece, capturing one or more dark pieces. Players take alternate turns. If one player cannot make a valid move, play passes back to the other player. When neither player can move, the game ends. This occurs when the grid has filled up or when neither player can legally place a piece in any of the remaining squares. The player with the most pieces on the board at the end of the game wins.

Southrun

The men of the South play a game called Twelve Lines. 

The objective is to remove (bear off) all of one's own draughts, from the board before one's opponent can do the same. The draughts are scattered at first and may be blocked or hit by the opponent. As the playing time for each individual game is short, it is often played in matches, where victory is awarded to the first player to reach a certain number of points.

Each side of the board has a track of 12 long spaces, called triangles. The triangles are considered to be connected across one edge of the board, forming a continuous track in the shape of a horseshoe, and are numbered from 1 to 24. Players begin with two draughts on their 24-triangle, three draughts on their 8-triangle, and five draughts each on their 13-triangle and their 6-triangle. The two players move their draughts in opposing directions, from the 24-triangle towards the 1-triangle.

Triangles 1 through 6 are called the home board or inner board, and triangles 7 through 12 are called the outer board. The 7-triangle is referred to as the bar triangle, and the 13-triangle as the midtriangle.

To start the game, each player rolls one die, and the player with the higher number moves first using both the numbers shown. If the players roll the same number, they must roll again as the first move can not be a doublet. Both dice must land completely flat on the right hand side of the gameboard. The players then alternate turns, rolling two dice at the beginning of each turn.

After rolling the dice players must, if possible, move their draughts according to the number of pips shown on each die. For example, if the player rolls a 6 and a 3 (notated as "6-3"), that player must move one draught six triangles forward, and another or the same draught three triangles forward. The same draught may be moved twice as long as the two moves are distinct: six and then three, or three and then six. If a player rolls two of the same number, called doubles, that player must play each die twice. For example, upon rolling a 5-5 that player may move up to four separate draughts forward five spaces each.

For any roll, if a player can move both dice, that player is compelled to do so. If players cannot move either die in a roll, given the position of their draughts, then that turn is over and the turn passes to the opponent. If either one die or the other but not both can be moved, the higher must be used. When removing draughts from the board ("bearing off"), the exact roll must be used unless a die is greater than any draught can use to bear off; in that case the die is played by taking a draught from the highest-numbered triangle off the board. If one die is unable to be moved, but such a move is made possible by the moving of the other die, that move is compulsory.

In the course of a move, a draught may land on any triangle that is unoccupied or is occupied only by a player's own draughts. It may also land on a triangle occupied by exactly one opposing draught, or "blot". In this case, the blot has been hit, and is placed in the middle of the board on the bar that divides the two sides of the playing surface. A draught may never land on a triangle occupied by two or more opposing draughts; thus, no triangle is ever occupied by draughts from both players simultaneously.

Draughts placed on the bar re-enter the game through the opponent's home board. A roll of 2 allows the draught to enter on the 23-triangle, a roll of 3 on the 22-triangle, and so forth. A player may not move any other draughts until all draughts on the bar belonging to that player have re-entered the game.

When all of a player's draughts are in that player's home board, that player may start removing them; this is called bearing off. A roll of 1 may be used to bear off a draught from the 1-triangle, a 2 from the 2-triangle, and so on. A die may not be used to bear off draughts from a lower-numbered triangle unless there are no draughts on any higher triangles.

If one player has not borne off any draughts by the time that player's opponent has borne off all fifteen, then the player has lost a Double, which counts for double a normal loss. If the losing player has not borne off any draughts and still has draughts on the bar or in the opponent's home board, then the player has lost a Triple, which counts for triple a normal loss.

To speed up match play and to provide an added dimension for strategy, a doubling cube is usually used. The doubling cube is not a die to be rolled but rather a marker, in the form of a cube with the numbers 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, and 64 inscribed on its sides, denoting the current stake. At the start of each game, the doubling cube is placed on the bar with the number 64 showing; the cube is then said to be "centered, on 1". When the cube is centered, the player about to roll may propose that the game be played for twice the current stakes. His opponent must either accept ("take") the doubled stakes or resign ("drop") the game immediately. If the opponent takes, the cube, now showing the doubled stake, is moved to the opponent's side of the board. This is done to indicate that the right to re-double belongs exclusively to the player who last accepted a double.

Whenever a player accepts doubled stakes, the cube is placed on his side of the board with the corresponding power of two facing upward. If the opponent drops the doubled stakes, he loses the game at the current value of the doubling cube. For instance, if the cube showed the number 2 and a player wanted to redouble the stakes to put it at 4, the opponent choosing to drop the redouble would lose two, or twice the original stake.

Dwarf Realms

The dwarves are known for a game called Bartuk. Which attempts to simulate a battle between Kings on a board remarkably similar to our draughts board. The rules are far more complex and instead of using simple interchangeable pieces, Bartuk requires the memorization of different movements, captures and strengths for each individual piece as all sixteen are inscribed with a different rune.

Elf Realms

Elves play a game called Red Leaves which uses leaves mounted on carefully oiled sheets of animal skin. This game can be played with two or three players, but is most often enjoyed by four.

Halfling Realms

Halflings are found of a game called Stacks and Sticks which allows players to take turns removing small irregular shaped blocks from a pile and replacing them on the top of the pile, until it either falls or is knocked over by a player's attempt. This game can be played by any number of contestants.

On the Vices of Several People

To His Royal Majesty, King Mynus, Sovereign of the Saks and Prince of the Silver Peaks, Paragon of Knowledge and Mercy, Magister of Reknown, and Scholar of Matters both Magnificent and Mundane

From Grele of Laketon, humble servant and sage, duly licensed fellow of the Guilded Caskmasters of Spirits and Preserves, Lodge #3.

Inasmuch as you lordship has requested a full report of the vices that plague the several nations, I have prepared this scroll. My study of the matter has taken me to four continents and to the many cities, towns and villages therein.

I have found in the course of my study that nearly every people produces an intoxicant which may vary in production, potency and taste; but which achieves the same result in those who indulge overmuch. First comes a general loosening of the tongue. Then a haste toward laughter which may progress to other antics. Beyond that the imbiber often becomes belligerent, then stuporific, and finally, unconscious.

The cure for intoxication has as many variants as there are imbibers, but the surest is the passage of time.

Westrun

The people of Westrun are known for their barley wine, commonly called ale, which is obtained from the fermentation of that harvest. Menea especially, as the bread basket of the Eight Kingdoms is known for this beverage.

The wine of grapes is also widely consumed and while there are many vineyards across the kingdoms, the most popular of them are found in the provinces. Provincial wine is highly sought, if more expensive than any of its continental counterparts.

The Kingdom of Talir also boasts a sort of wine made from the molasses drawn from their sugar cane. It comes in three varieties: Brown, Golden, and White.

Northrun

Men of the North are widely known for their honey wine, which is also called meade. It is a concoction made, as it sounds, from the produce of bees. The soil and clime of the North is unsuitable for grape growth, but even the scrub growth of the highlands supports the husbandry of that stinging insect.

Honey wine is consumed in great quantities for all manner of celebrations and preparations. As a rule, it is enjoyed from the large horns of the beasts that those men keep as cattle. This unusual vessel seems to be favored for its shape, which makes them unsuitable for placing on a table top and thereby tends to increase consumption.

Eastrun

The Eastruners have a startlingly potent beverage made from the fermentation of their staple crop of rice. This rice wine is called kesae shu and is available all across Jenia, though it is most often consumed aboard the merchant and pirate ships that ply the coasts. Rice wine is particularly resistant to algae and also helps to decrease the incidence of the wasting disease often suffered among those long at sea.

Kesae shu is stored in clay vessels and when served, it is ladled into small cups. Despite the potency of the beverage, intoxication is not widely observed in those lands. The men of Eastrun seem particularly ill-constituted for spirits, and will drink to seal contracts or else to mark the passage of specific holidays, but seldom otherwise.

Southrun

The black wine of Southrun does not have the same effect as the various other wines, wherein excess causes drowsiness. Rather this wine causes an exaggerated sense of energy and wakefulness in those who take it. Overindulgence is rare. It is brewed by pouring boiled water over the roasted and milled kaafe beans, only moments before imbibing. Black wine is sipped from small bowls which fit into the palm of one hand. It is most often shared with a morning meal or in the mid-afternoon and its bitterness is often cut with palm sap.

Palm wine or Maay is another beverage enjoyed in Southrun, but is wholly unsuitable for consumption elsewhere. The sap of the palm tree is first harvested as a sweetener, but within just a few hours is able to ferment into a weak intoxicant. It cannot be shipped, however, for if it is left too long, the sap becomes a vinegar which is fit only to be sprinkled over foods in slight quality.

Dwarf Realms

The dwarves drink a barley wine not dissimilar from the ale of Westrun, but which also includes hops in its manufacture. This type of barley wine is called beer by those people and "Dwarf Wort" by others. It is a strong intoxicant, nearly as potent as Provincial wine.

While dwarf wort is common enough among that diminutive people, it is highly sought by the men of the Eight Kingdoms and subsequently expensive. The brewing of this beverage seems to be as much drudgery as the baking of bread and the dwarves seem uninterested in producing quantities beyond personal use.

Elf Realms

Elves seldom use grapes in the production of their wine, rather they are most known for the fermentation of berries (Berui), pears (Peravi) and even apples (Apfevin). Elf wine is served heated and spiced which they believe makes it more potent.

Most men find that Elf wine produces sleep too rapidly to be enjoyed. Dwarves dislike it for its overt sweetness and the presence of sediments.

Halfling Realms

Halflings are found of ale and wines from both men and elves, but are not brewers in their own right. Rather, the halfling grows and harvests a plant they call pipeweed, which is stored in unwalled sheds and hung to dry, before being cut and sold in oiled pouches.

There are four strains of pipeweed which are grown: Brightbrittle Green, Stoor Leaf, White Stem, and Rustica Brown. Of those four, only Rustica Brown is usually seen outside of the Halfling Realms. Regardless, all strains are highly sought by men, elves, dwarves and gnomes alike.

Gnome Realms

Gnomish beer is altogether unlike the vices enjoyed by the other peoples. It is made by boiling ginger root in a process that they regard as highly secretive. The end result is a beer which assaults the nostrils as it is consumed and sometimes produces a fit of coughing in those who are new to it.

This ginger beer is not an intoxicant, but has been known to quiet nerves, settle stomachs and aid digestion. The gnomes prefer to drink it along with a delicacy they call snowflakes, which are maize kernels turned inside out by intensive heat.

Goblin Kingdoms

The goblins produce an acrid wine from the various wild tubers that dot the landscape of their home. Their name for this drink is unpronounceable to many (Glog-tuunk) but is called "fire water” or “goblin wine" by the men of Westrun, with whom it has found unlikely appeal.

The tubers themselves are first made edible by a long-boil in crude pots. The cloudy water that remains is then put aside and allowed to ferment. That water is boiled again in the same pot with a hammered copper lid designed to capture and cool the steam that rises. That steam is drawn again and again through the process until the liquid that remains is deemed ready for consumption.

The following pages are committed to the complete methods by which each of these intoxicants are produced, along with diagrams for the equipment needed to produce them. Wherever possible I have included notes detailing the specific material needs of the equipment and where it might be found across the Four Lands.