Princess and the Stable boy

She drinks from a goblet all shiny and new,

He guzzles his ale from a bucket or two,

She wore a silk bodice that never got torn,

He’s tangled in hay and smells like a barn.

Oh, the princess won’t fight, and the stable boy cants,

One’s soft as a petal, one shit his pants,

Two claim the crown but neither’s quite right,

One’s scared of the dirt and one’s lost the fight!

So who’ll take Balduren when the dust clears away?

The lad who won’t fight or the girl who won’t stay?

The crown waits in silence, a cruel, stubborn toy—

Between the sweet princess and the filthy young boy!

Oh, the princess won’t fight, and the stable boy cants,

One’s soft as a petal, one shit his pants,

Two claim the crown but neither’s quite right,

One’s scared of the dirt and one’s lost the fight!

So raise up your cups and drink down your sorrow,

For kings made of folly can’t rule us tomorrow!

To horses that gallop, to fights never won,

'tween the brat and the bastard you have to choose one!

Oh, the princess won’t fight, and the stable boy cants,

One’s soft as a petal, one shit his pants,

Two claim the crown but neither’s quite right,

One’s scared of the dirt and one’s lost the fight!